


Alone

by Jinx (jinx37kat)



Series: One Chance [4]
Category: The OC
Genre: Gen, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-12
Updated: 2005-09-12
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:13:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6729187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinx37kat/pseuds/Jinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seth is alone w/Angsty McAngst</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Okay, so I know this isn't slash, so I hereby declare this a prequel to the One Chance Series. It takes place in the first season and is more of a Kirsten-Seth story (not in that way, you sick f*ckers!) Anyway, it was kinda inspired by that last scene in "The New Kids On The Block" which is, like, totally second season and this is in the first season, but... Okay! Enjoy! Oh, and I go wacko with POV change. I'm so sorry. Hopefully it won't bounce you out of the story too much.

Prequel to One Chance

 

If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You’re not alone  
Because there has always been heartache and pain  
And when it’s over you’ll breathe again  
You’ll breath again  
\-- Crash and Burn, Savage Garden

 

Seth sat on his bed in his room reading the latest issue of the Justice League. He had a surprising back-log of issues to go through since Ryan arrived. Mainly because, for the first time since moving back to Newport a scant ten years ago, insert sarcasm here, Seth had an actual friend to hang out with.

However, as with everything good in his life, that hadn’t lasted very long. It had pretty much ended before it began if truth be told. 

See, Ryan had met his current girlfriend a whole day before meeting Seth. That along with the good looks, the brooding, wounded soul and the mysterious past pretty much had the girl-next-door, Marissa Cooper, prostrate at his feet.

Definitely an experience that Seth had never experienced before and would never experience again if his current life continued to play out as it had.

The first few months had been tumultuous between the two as the sparks flew and extinguished over and over and over again. And during this on again-off again romance, there had been quality Seth/Ryan time to keep Ryan busy and Seth happy.

However, now that Luke was out of the way, Ryan and Marissa had free reign to be boyfriend and girlfriend. And, of course, that left Seth Cohen on the outside looking in. Again. But, that was pretty much par for the course in his life. He should be used to it and really wouldn’t have cared so much if he hadn’t had that small taste of what having a friend felt like in the first place.

If only Ryan had never come.

A knock on the door had Seth look up from his comic. Ryan came in and sat on the desk chair.

“Hey,” Ryan mumbled. 

“Hey,” Seth answered.

A full conversation in two words.

“Haven’t seen you in awhile,” Ryan mused.

Seth shrugged a shoulder. “Dude, I, like, saw you this morning at breakfast and then during lunch and then during fifth period and now. That’s, like, four times today!”

Ryan gave Seth a small smile and ducked his head. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Seth sighed.

The sigh brought Ryan’s head up and he frowned. 

“I know we haven’t had much Seth/Ryan time lately with… well, you know. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow. Maybe go down to the pier? Have lunch at The Crab Shack?”

Seth arched an eyebrow at his friend. “What happened? You and Marissa get into a fight?”

“No,” Ryan denied. “I just thought we could hang out tomorrow. If you don’t want to…” Ryan got up and started for the door.

“No!” Seth too jumped up and intercepted Ryan. “No, I do! It’s just… um, unexpected is all.”

Ryan nodded. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to neglect you.”

Seth waved him off and leaned against the wall. “Girlfriend, dude. Totally understand. I’d be blowing you off if I had one, too.” He grinned and turned around. “Want me to kick your ass at Grand Theft?”

Seth didn’t see Ryan’s frown on his comment about being blown off. 

Ryan was about to say something, but let it go, following Seth out of his room.

“Who’s the pro at stealing cars again?” Ryan asked as he caught up to Seth.

“That would be your brother and neither one of you are pros since you both got caught. Duh!” Seth smirked over his shoulder before taking off down the hallway, Ryan hot on his heels.

* * * * *

The next morning, Seth, in his pajamas, sat in the kitchen eating his cereal. He had asked his mom for some money so that he and Ryan could have lunch at The Crab Shack like Ryan had suggested last night.

Kirsten was sipping her coffee and reading the paper at the other end of the kitchen island when Ryan came in dressed as though he had somewhere special to go.

“Ooo, hot date?” Seth asked, smirking.

“Yeah, Marissa’s dragging me to some club or something for lunch today. Told me to look nice.”

Seth dropped his spoon in his bowl and looked up at Ryan. “I thought…”

Ryan reached passed Seth to grab a bagel and froze. “Oh, god, Seth. I totally forgot. I’m sorry.”

Seth schooled his features and gave Ryan a huge grin. “No problem, bro. Ya got a hottie waitin’ for ya. I’d dump me, too.”

“Seth…” Ryan started.

“Seriously, dude. Totally no big deal. We can bother The Crab Shack some other time.”

“Are you sure?” Ryan asked doubtful.

“Sure, man. Go, go on. Have fun.”

“Thanks, Seth.” Ryan said gratefully and breezed out of the kitchen.

Once out of the room, Seth visibly sagged on his stool, inhaling a very loud, shaky gust of air.

“Sweetie?” Kirsten began tentatively, having seen the exchange but remained quiet.

“Yeah, Mom?”

“Are you okay?”

“Sure.” He looked up at his mom with glassy, glistening eyes. He blinked furiously trying to force back his sadness.

“Honey…” Kirsten moved towards Seth and Seth just shook his head.

“It’s okay, Mom. Really.”

“Okay,” she nodded, wanting nothing more than to comfort her son, but knowing that it wouldn’t be welcomed at that moment.

“I’m gonna…” Seth got up and took a few steps around the counter. “I’m gonna go sailing today. Is that okay?”

“Sure, sweetie. Be careful.”

Seth gave her a small smile. “I will.” He started out of the room before coming back in. “Oh and I think I’ll have dinner down at the pier. Don’t wanna waste the cash you gave me.”

Kirsten smiled. “Okay. Don’t be too late, though.”

“I won’t,” Seth answered and left the room.

Kirsten stood silently in the kitchen and watched as a few minutes later, Seth and his skateboard left the house. Then, and only then, after her son had left, did Kirsten let the ache in her chest blossom, allowing the tears she held back fall. She had to put down her coffee cup, her hands shook so bad.

She had hoped that it was all over. She had hoped that her son could now have a friend; someone to hang out with; someone who saw what she and Sandy saw in their son. But apparently she had been wrong. 

It was with tears streaming down her face that Sandy found her minutes later.

“Kirsten! Oh sweatheart, what’s wrong?” Sandy wrapped his arms around her and held her against his chest. The comfort seemed to make things worse as Kirsten sagged against Sandy and cried in earnest.

“Is it Seth?” Sandy asked, worry clouding his voice.

She nodded against his shoulder but didn’t move.

“He’s okay, isn’t he?” Now Sandy was beyond worried. He was starting to panic.

Kirsten nodded then shook her head before nodding again.

Figuring that it wasn’t as bad as he was imagining if Kirsten wasn’t dragging him off to the hospital, Sandy just stood in front of his wife, holding her tight, allowing her to cry.

He hadn’t seen her cry like this for a very long time and it actually scared him, but he was willing to wait her out. She would tell him in time.

After several minutes, Kirsten’s tears tapered off and she leaned back against the counter, wiping at her face.

“Are you all right?”

Kirsten nodded and tried to smile up at Sandy. It didn’t work.

“Is this about Seth?”

She nodded again and fresh tears welled up in her eyes.

“Honey, what’s wrong?”

Kirsten took a deep breath. “I just hate seeing him so lonely.”

“Seth?”

“Yes.”

“But he’s got…”

“Ryan?” Kirsten asked defensively. “No, he doesn’t. Ryan has Marissa.”

“Oh,” Sandy said, knowing what his wife was saying. Or, rather, what she wasn’t saying.

“Yeah. ‘Oh’.”

“What happened?”

She shrugged. “Seth told me that he and Ryan were going to go down to the pier today. He even borrowed some money so they could have lunch at The Crab Shack.”

“But?”

“But, when Ryan came in this morning, he was all dressed for a date with Marissa.”

“Oh,” Sandy sighed, sagging against the island.

The two parents remained quiet, both contemplating their son.

Finally, Kirsten said softly. “Sometimes…” She turned to look out the kitchen window at the pool house. “Sometimes, I wish you’d never brought Ryan home.”

“Kirsten?” Sandy questioned, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. “Do you…?”

“NO!” She exclaimed fervently. “I love Ryan. Like a son. I just… I hate seeing Seth like this. He’s so sad. So lonely. Sometimes I wish we would have stayed in Berkeley. He was so much happier there.”

“I know,” Sandy replied. “But he can be happy here.”

“When, Sandy?” Kirsten looked up at her husband with tear-filled eyes. “We’ve been here for ten years and Ryan is the first real friend he’s had. And now…”

“Now he’s alone again.”

Kirsten nodded and dropped her head to her chest, letting her tears flow freely. Sandy stepped up and hugged his wife, neither knowing what to say to make things better for their little boy.

* * * * *

When Ryan returned that evening, Sandy and Kirsten was just sitting down for dinner.

“Hey, there, kiddo. In the mood for some Pad Thai. There’s plenty,” Sandy invited, holding up the take-out plate.

“Sure,” Ryan answered, coming over to the table to sit down. After dishing up his plate, he looked around, noticing Seth’s absence. “Seth not eating?”

“He’s not here,” Kirsten said flatly.

Ryan frowned and looked at his guardians uncomfortably. There was a tension in the air that made him feel like the first time he came here to stay just after Sandy brought him home that first weekend.

“Oh,” Ryan replied tentatively, looking down at his full plate, but feeling anything but hungry. He started pushing the noodles around his plate, resolutely not looking at either Sandy or Kirsten.

After several minutes, Sandy asked, “You not hungry?”

Ryan snapped his head up and looked at Sandy with surprise. “Huh? Oh! Yeah, no, I guess I’m still full from lunch.”

“Where’d you go?” Sandy asked.

Ryan glanced side-long at Kirsten, who was determinedly not looking at Ryan. Swallowing hard, Ryan put down his fork and put his hands in his lap.

“Ryan?”

“Huh?” Ryan said dumbly, looking up at Sandy.

“Where’d you go? For lunch?”

“Oh, Marissa took me to some club her mom’s a member of.”

“Did you have a good time?”

Ryan merely nodded, not looking at either adult.

After several minutes of uncomfortable silence, Ryan finally stood up. “I’m gonna go to bed.”

It was Kirsten who stopped him when he passed by her on his way out. She grabbed his wrist and held fast. “Ryan.”

He turned to look at the hand holding him before looking up at Kirsten. “I’m sorry. For whatever I did wrong, I’m sorry.”

Kirsten got up and hugged him. “Oh, sweetie. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry. I just had a bad day. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

Kirsten stepped back and shook her head. “No, honey, I’m not. Just a really, really bad day.” She led him back to the table and sat him down. “Now finish your dinner.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Ryan answered. He didn’t see the look that passed between Sandy and Kirsten.

They engaged in small talk for the rest of dinner.

When Ryan was loading the dishwasher, he glanced at the clock and commented, “Should Seth be home by now?”

Both Kirsten and Sandy looked at the clock in concern. It was already dark and Seth had not returned from his day. Kirsten grabbed the phone and called Seth’s cell phone. When it went to voice mail, she looked at Sandy, anxiety clear in her eyes.

“Where did he go?” Sandy asked Kirsten.

“He said he was going sailing and then he was going to have dinner at The Crab Shack.”

“Well, why don’t we check to see if the boat is back and if so, we’ll go down to the pier.”

“I’ll go check for the boat,” Ryan offered and ran out of the house. 

He made it back in record time. “The Summer Breeze is on the beach.”

Both Sandy and Kirsten gave an audible sigh of relief. At least Seth wasn’t lost at sea and/or drown.

“Well, let’s go search the pier,” Sandy suggested. 

Ryan was following them out of the house when Kirsten turned around. “Ryan. Could you stay here just in case he comes home or calls?”

“Sure.” Though it was clear that Ryan wanted to be out helping to look for Seth. He watched as Sandy and Kirsten backed down the driveway and drove out of sight. He slumped against the door jam. Seth wouldn’t have been missing if he’d kept their planned hang-out time today. He just hoped that nothing bad had happened to his friend. He would never forgive himself.

* * * * *

While Sandy was checking the shops and stores along the boardwalk, Kirsten walked down to the pier and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her son sitting on a bench looking over the ocean.

He was alone, no one else around him. Though there wasn’t too many people on the pier this late at night anyway. 

“Seth?”

Seth looked up at her and the same expression he had this morning was still on his face and Kirsten’s heart clenched with sorrow. “Hey, Mom.”

Kirsten sat down next to her son and looked over the water, too. “We were worried,” she said, not moving to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” Seth said.

“Whatcha doing out here?”

She saw Seth shrug a shoulder from the corner of her eye. “Forgetting.”

Kirsten felt tears start up in her eyes but remained silent. She sniffed, but blamed the cool night air.

“Will you come home?” She asked after awhile.

Seth nodded but neither one made any attempted to move.

After a few moments, Kirsten reached out a hand across the bench and grasped her son’s. Seth’s grip was tight. It reminded her of when he was a little boy and would hug her leg when he was scared.

They stayed like that for a long while. It was how Sandy found them a half an hour later: mother and son watching the dark ocean before them… alone.

 

Finis  
09/12/05


End file.
